Saturday, April 1, 2017

Song Lyric Dissection: Scorpions, Rock You Like A Hurricane

This is the first of a number of Scorpions songs that will find their way to my dissection table...but there won't be any more Scorps songs until sometime after the second Nickelback song makes its appearance here. When will that be? Some day, some how, I'll dissect it but not now. I know you're wondering when.


Verse: It's early morning
The sun comes out
Last night was shaking
And pretty loud

The sun usually does come out in the morning, regardless of what happened the night before. But, how can a night shake? A hurricane could make things shake, but how can a night itself shake? Or be loud for that matter?

Verse: My cat is purring
And scratches my skin

So what is wrong

With another sin

Kitty scratched me. Now I'll go break
some laws and sinnin' and stuff!

Ok, just what kind of sin are you talking about here? Bestiality? I know what kind of cat you were talking about, but if that kind of cat scratched me, I think I would run like hell!

Verse: The bitch is hungry
She needs to tell
So give her inches
And feed her well

So, now you're talking about dogs? You FREAK you! Sure, I know what you're talking about here, but you can't go from talking about a cat to a dog while talking about sex. She needs to tell? What does she need to tell who? Tell all her friends about sex with you? And depending on just how many inches she is telling about could have disastrous repercussions on your sex life. You know, kind of like a hurricane would cause to a town? And, what if you CAN'T feed her well? ...wait for it...wait for it..ANSWER NEXT LINE!

verse: More days to come
New places to go
I've got to leave
It's time for a show

BINGO!!! Doesn't matter how bad the sex with you is, you'll just hop on the bus and go to the next town!!! That's the only thing I can think of that would even remotely tie into what you were talking about in your previous lines!

Chorus: Here I am, rock you like a hurricane
Here I am, rock you like a hurricane

Didn't you just say you were leaving? But seriously, I get the metaphor you are shooting for here with the hurricane. You're the man. You're slamming the meat whistle like there's no tomorrow. But, wouldn't an earthquake make more sense? Have you ever been through a hurricane? Its nothing like knocking the bed frame into the wall. A hurricane would simply level the house. Earthquakes on the other hand DO make things rock. We'll try it next chorus because I'm getting 'long winded' here. (Pun intended)

Verse: My body is burning
It starts to shout
Desire is coming
It breaks out loud

She's got you hot hot so hot sticky sweet from your head head head head to your feet? Oh wait...wrong song. Although that song may find its way onto my dissection table. How does your body shout? I mean the only things on my body that make noise are my mouth and my ass. And, I'm sure there would be NO desire coming if sound was coming from your ass, which is what you sound like you're talking about. It BREAKS OUT LOUD? Come on..That's a FART!

Verse: Lust is in cages
Till storm breaks loose
Just have to make it
With someone I choose

Lust in cages? What does that mean?? I can't even come up with a witty retort to that. Oh wait...Unless you're in a women's prison. But the second line there is the worst line in the song. Its an incomplete sentence, and has nothing to do with anything, except for maybe a hurricane. And unless that woman chooses to make it with you, its called rape! That would give a whole new meaning of lust in cages for you!

Verse: The night is calling
I have to go
The wolf is hungry
He runs the show

Wait a minute...Just a few lines ago, you were saying that you had to leave because you had to get to a show, now you have to leave because it's night? You know, most rock stars nail their groupies AFTER a show. But what really gets me here is that you have switched from talking in first person to second person...and referring to yourself as a wolf. I'm no zoologist, but I am a thinker. I don't think you find wolves in areas prone to hurricanes. And if you're leaving her, how can you run that show? Sounds to me like you're running AWAY from the show!

Verse: He's licking his lips
He's ready to win
On the hunt tonight
For love at first sting
Wait...You're the wolf, and you're licking your lips and ready to win, and you're on the hunt...Didn't you just leave? And while we're at it why not make the wolf a scorpion since you went that 'Love at first sting' route??? That would make more sense. But then again, nothing in this song makes any sense. Oh wait...Maybe we're talking about some of those wolves in the Twilight films. If vampires can freaking sparkle, why couldn't wolves have stingers in their tails? Huh? What? This song was written long before those crappy movies? Oh. My bad. Well, Scorps, sorry...I tried to stick up for you.

An Inconvenient Set of Lyrics 

Chorus: Here I am, rock you like a hurricane
Here I am, rock you like a hurricane
Here I am, rock you like a hurricane
Here I am, rock you like a hurricane 

Ok, lets try it with my earthquake suggestion:
Come on now, sing it with me.

Chorus: Here I am, Rock you like an earthquake!
Ah Ya Na na naaaaa!
Here I am, Rock you like an earthquake!

Ok, so its short a syllable. Lets add a word.
Sing along!

Chorus: Here I am, Rock you like a bad earthquake!
Ah Ya Na na naaaaaa!
Here I am, Rock you like a bad earthquake!

Works for me, and it would make sense (the chorus would anyway)

Doesn't flow as well as hurricane, but at least it would make sense

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